Anal Play

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Anal stimulation is still relegated to a negative narrative of pain, annoyance, inconvenience, filthiness and dirtiness; sometimes seen as a transgression and a perversion, a proof of desire, especially if it concerns the female department, or a certificate of homosexuality if it disturbs a male anus.

We like to think of the anus as a universal access door to a democratic pleasure within the reach of all bodies.

This article is an invitation to look at the anus from a curious and creative perspective (with the appropriate precautions), and perhaps to explore new itineraries for seeking pleasure (and achieving orgasm: the anal one exists!).

The anus can be your own or that of another person: we want to think of masturbation as something that involves only the front of our sexual body but the anus can also be the protagonist of autoerotic explorations.

Necessary premise: in this article we deal with the fun part of anal stimulation but, as with any sexual activity, we must always take into account the possible risks and the possibility of transmission of STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections). In this case it is useful to keep in mind that the mucosa of the rectum is particularly delicate and fragile. Thinking about it first means you can then relax and enjoy the exploration.

Once the prevention part has been managed, the golden rules before venturing are: say no to nails and yes to lubricant (better silicone-based, especially if the stimulation involves penetration: it lasts longer). Put aside all the prejudices about anal stimulation and porn stunts (the most interesting part is what remains behind the scenes). Now we can get started.

External stimulation

Let's start from the outside because, like the vagina, the anus is not just a tunnel to be penetrated. And penetration is not the final or ideal goal, but just one item on the menu of possibilities.

1 - Anal massage

If we have never involved the anus in our pleasure expeditions, the journey can start (and stop) from outside the body: simply, placing a finger on the anus and holding it still can make us aware of the existence of this part of the body and get used to the idea of playing with it, coming into contact with it. The massage can take place with the fingers and circular or linear movements. Or we can place (place, not insert!) a vibrator, like a wand, to experiment with new sensations.

2 - Rimming

The practice of rimming (or anilingus) involves the anus and the mouth: it's anal oral sex, if you will.

The anus can be stimulated externally with the tongue and mouth: it can be licked, kissed, sucked, blown on, etc.

You can dedicate yourself to an entire session of pure rimming or use this practice as an overture to warm up and get excited or as a grand finale, close to orgasm, to intensify the sensations.

If you are paranoid about smells and tastes you can consider using a flavored lubricant (pay attention to the composition: most contain a lot of sugar).

If the word rimming doesn't resonate with you, you probably remember the rusty trombone, a sexual practice transformed into a sex trend by an (American) Cosmopolitan article from 2017. The rusty trombone is practically the contextual practice of rimming (the "rusty" part) and masturbation of the penis with the hand (the “trombone” part). The fact that it was presented as a practice performed by a woman on a man contributed to the sensationalism.

The tongue can remain outside the anus but also insinuate itself inside, where we arrive with the subsequent ways of stimulation.

There are sex toys that simulate the passage of the tongue around the anus, such as the rimming B-Vibe. Remaining outside the body, a sex toy like Lelo's Ora could be used (and probably more satisfying when used on the anus than on the vulva).

Internal stimulation – anal penetration


Exploring (or having someone explore) the inside of your anus means making a change of perspective (mental but also physical) and getting used to welcoming something into a part of the body usually limited to expelling. It can take time: give it time.

Penetration of the anus involves the sphincters, which are practically the gatekeepers of the anus: two ring muscles, an external one - voluntary and therefore controllable - and an internal one - involuntary, controlled by the autonomic nervous system. Another muscle involved (and responsible for pleasure) is the levator ani muscle.

3 - Anal fingering

The first penetrative approach to the anus can take place using the fingers, or rather the finger, inserting it gradually to get used to the sensation. Don't immediately think about penetrating deeply or how to move the finger, where to stimulate: keep it still and give the muscles time to fraternize with the new arrival and relax. With the finger you can apply pressure in different directions, to explore the anatomy, gain familiarity and play with the body's stimuli and responses. Depending on how deep you want to go, with fingering you can also stimulate the prostate by curling your finger in the direction of your belly.

If you want, you can increase the number of fingers to insert.

Fingering is also easily practiced during other sexual explorations as a couple, such as penetrative sex.

4 - Penetration with sex toys: anal plugs (or butt plugs)

Before inserting any object into your butt, make sure it has a stop, i.e. a wide base that facilitates its recovery and extraction with the hand and, above all, prevents it from accidentally disappearing inside your body and giving you a trip to the emergency room. .

The list of foreign bodies recovered (with great difficulty and astonishing medical adventures) from people's rectums is always very rich and creative (light bulbs, spray cans, balls including bowls, candles, handles, non-anal sex toys, chicken bones, fruit and various vegetables…).

Plugs come in different sizes and shapes, different materials, vibrating and non-vibrating, with weights inside, etc.

Plugs are generally made up of a bulbous part, a constriction (on which, once inserted, the sphincters close) and a base. They can be worn during other sexual practices and left inserted, creating an encumbrance, a presence, inside the anus.

Our favorite plug, which we recommend as a basis for absolute beginners, is the b-Vibe novice, a small, tapered vibrating plug. Other interesting plugs: snug plug, which has movable and heavy spheres inside; bootie and bootie fem, anal plugs by Fun Factory, with a shape designed for easy and comfortable use.

5 - Penetration with sex toys: dilators

Dilators differ from plugs in that instead of having a constriction near the base, upon which the sphincters constrict, they have an increasing size that keeps the sphincters dilated. They can be very useful for preparing for anal penetrations of a certain size, with the penis or dildo: they train the sphincters to dilate and remain dilated, improving their elasticity. The same does not happen with plugs because the sphincters dilate only at the moment of insertion and then close around the choke.

The dilators are sold in sets and have increasing dimensions, to gradually increase the width of penetration.

Obvuously the preparation can be exciting and eroticised, as much as the penetration you want to achieve.

6 - Penetration with sex toys: anal beads

Anal beads are chains of balls which, inserted and extracted one after the other, repeatedly work the sphincters. One of the orgasmic uses that can be made of it is to gradually insert all the balls and then extract them (with due caution and a good dose of lubricant! In short, with common sense) close to orgasm. But they can also be used as a warm-up to prepare for penetrative sex.

There are flexible and more rigid, vibrating and non-vibrating anal beads. The safest are made entirely of silicone.

7 - Prostate massage or milking

Prostate stimulation (for those who have it) can occur both internally and externally, therefore without penetration.

From the outside you massage the perineum, i.e. the part between the anus and the testicles, by applying pressure. You can also use sex toys to press against this part of the body, such as a wand, which thanks to the handle makes it easier to reach and stimulate the area. There are also sex toys to stimulate this area exclusively, such as Benedict by Svakom.

The most direct way to stimulate the prostate is from the inside: you can do it with your fingers or with special sex toys. Prostate massagers are characterized by an arched shape designed precisely to reach this point and can be vibrating and controllable by remote control or app or require the work of the pelvic muscles to massage the prostate.

Prostate massage is also called milking because, performed in conditions of arousal, it can lead to the release of a milky fluid from the penis, i.e. the prostatic fluid which is a component of the seminal fluid.

Aneros is a brand that specializes in non-vibrating prostate massagers, with shapes suitable for different experience levels. Among the vibrant ones, we mention two with shapes that can be approached by those who do not yet have experience: Vick by Svakom and Vector by We-Vibe.

8 - Anal sex: penetration with penis

If you have dismissed anal sex as painful because the only thing that has crossed the threshold of your anus is a penis: give yourself another chance and start again from point number 1.

9 - Pegging

The term pegging refers to a sexual dynamic with very specific roles in which a woman penetrates a man's anus using a dildo. In general it can be used to indicate anal sex practiced with a dildo which can be strap-on, if fixed to the body via a harness (like this one, in jeans, which is particularly soft), or strapless if shaped with an end to be inserted in the vagina (these have three motors that stimulate the wearer's vagina and vulva and the anus or vagina of the recipient of penetration).

10 - Anal fisting

Fisting is the practice of anal stimulation in which the entire hand is inserted through the anus. The term is a bit misleading because it is not inserted closed in a fist ("fist") but with the fingers extended and overlapping, to create a sort of hammock, to practice gradual penetration. Fisting is an advanced form of penetration and can be achieved gradually, with a lot of training and a lot of anatomical awareness.

Take it easy and give your anus all the time and care it needs!

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